If I Stay
by claraoswins
Summary: (AU) In which Allison made it to the Hospital before dying and while the group is waiting outside the operation room, Lydia hears her best friend calling her name. "Lydia? Lydia, it's me. Lydia, can you hear me? Lydia… " One-shot.


**Hey everyone. After last night's episode, after watching Lydia crying - again - I felt the need to write something dedicated to her (and Allison). I miss Allydia way too much and my inspiration was the new upcoming movie "If I stay" - you guys go check it out, looks amazing! Anyways, I wrote this in only one hour and you might find a few mistakes here and there (& English in not my first language, which makes it all worse...) Oh well, please enjoy. **

**To Allison Argent, the girl who ran with wolves. :)**

* * *

There's a difference between losing someone and losing your best friend.

When you lose someone, whether it's an uncle, a neighbor or the homeless man wandering around town, they don't take away anything from you; maybe a few tears but that's all. You feel sad for them but you know they're gone and that there's nothing left you can do.

When you lose your best friend, part of you dies along with them. You can't breathe, you can't speak, you simply can't move. There could be a hundred people around you yelling 'she's gone!' but you simply don't believe them – I mean, how could she be gone? When a person that means that much to you, suddenly leaves you – without even giving you the chance to save them – you will never be the same. You will never truly heal. You will always look around for them, search for them… When you lose your best friend, when you lose the one person that's always been there for you, the one person that never let you down, the one person that always believed in you… _you lose yourself too._

Lydia had already lost too many people- too many _good_ people, actually.

She couldn't afford to lose her best friend too. Allison was the only person that kept her sane, her one and only anchor.

One hour. One hour and a half. Still no news.

Lydia cleaned away her tears streaming down her face with the back of her hand as silently as she could; sitting beside her, Scott was looking down at the ground, his fingers intertwined in his dark hair occasionally giving them a little squeeze; in front of them, leaned against the wall, was Allison's father. The tall, handsome man never looked so old. His eyes were red from all the crying and there were dark circles under them; his lips were close together in a thin, pale line, but his most frightening trait were his hands… shaking.

His hands would never shake. _Never_.

The banshee realized they were all losing someone important to them. Scott would lose his first love; Mr. Argent would lose his only daughter. Lydia would lose her best friend. _How were they supposed to live after that?_

"Lydia…?" The banshee turned her head to Scott expecting to find him looking at her. No. He was still looking down at the ground. So it wasn't him calling her name?

"Lydia, it's me." She heard, only this time the voice wasn't hoarse or weak; it was delicate, frightened, almost inaudible, and it belonged to a girl.

"Lydia… can you hear me?" That voice. Allison.

"Oh, God…" The banshee murmured while she slowly got up, one hand leaned against the wall to help her regain her balance. "Lydia? Lydia, it's me, Allison, your… best friend…" She stuttered while pronouncing those last words, as If Allison were crying uncontrollably.

No, that couldn't be real. Whether Lydia was finally going crazy or she could talk with ghosts. "Wait…" The banshee murmured. _Ghosts_? Lydia rushed to the doors of the operation room and peeked inside through the small window; she couldn't see Allison but there were no machines beeping furiously, no red lights and the doctors around her seemed calm.

Allison was still alive. Lydia was not hearing ghosts.

As the green eyed girl let out a loud sigh of relief, she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey, honey, you can't go in there." The banshee recognized that voice - it was Scott's mom. Just as Lydia prepared herself to face Melissa, she heard Allison again.

"Lydia, I promise you're not crazy, but please, hear me out…" Peeking down through the small window once more, everything was still fine. Everything seemed ok. "Lydia, I promise I won't die if you just listen to me…" Allison was crying, Lydia could tell by the sound of her voice.

It had to be one of her Banshee abilities. If she could hear a thousand voices inside her head, then she could hear Allison as well, right?

"I need air." Her last words before turning around and walking away.

Once on the outside, the banshee looked around anxiously; she wasn't looking for Allison, but she was looking for _something_… maybe a shadow, a light somewhere… "Allison?" She called out to her best friend. At first nothing happened. "Allison…?"

"Hey..." Allison's voice, so weak and sad echoed around her. Lydia's head was starting to hurt but still she followed that familiar voice… until she found Allison hiding in the shadows, just a few feet away from her. It wasn't until the girl who ran with wolves walked towards the banshee that Lydia realized she was _really_ there; maybe not physically but she could still _see_ her best friend clearly.

Allison's clothes were covered with dark spots; there was still blood on her mouth and tears falling from her brown eyes. Despite being wounded, she looked ok. Maybe too ok. "You… you're not dead." Lydia stuttered; her best friend shrugged and faked a smile. "Not yet. I needed to tell you something."

That headache… it was getting worse.

"Lydia, it's not your fault. Or anyone's fault, ok?" "Don't… just don't. I don't know if you're a ghost, a spirit or a hallucination but… either way, you go back to your body, Allison. You come back to life _right-now_." She demanded, those last two words pronounced with anger and despair. However, the brown eyed hunter didn't move. She just kept on crying. "Allison, go back to your body."

This time, the hunter just nodded in disapproval. "I don't know for how much longer I can hold on but… just, do me a favor, ok? Keep an eye on Scott and Isaac… and my dad, please. I need you to do this for me." "And who's going to keep an eye on me?!" She interrupted. Allison lowered her eyes to the ground and this time she smiled genuinely. "You don't need anyone to protect you." The hell with that.

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't have claws, or super strength, or a bow and arrow to hunt down the bad guys. I have voices inside my head and that's pretty much it. And maybe that's why you're leaving me." "Lydia…" Allison's voice hurt too much, so much to the point of heightening Lydia's headache.

"Let me finish, Allison, and after I'm done, you're going to go back to your body and _come back to me_." The banshee demanded once more, but her best friend didn't move; instead, she just lifted her brown eyes to Lydia and let out a small sigh. "Ok."

"I just wish… I wish I had had the chance to save you." Allison bit her bottom lip as more tears marked their way through her cheeks until they met on her chin. "Why'd you have to be a hero? Look how well it turned out! You left me and now I'm alone, I lost my best friend because she tried to be a stupid hero! And you know what's even worse? I wish it had been me instead of you because I… I have no clue of how to move on without you…"

Lydia had to stop talking due to her headache. It was getting more and more unbearable and by now she knew the reason why it hurt so much. Peter once told her to scream so the voices would go away, so everything would fall into place... which was exactly why Lydia couldn't scream in that moment. Not if it meant saying goodbye to her best friend.

"I'm sorry, Lydia…" Allison whispered, slowly backing away into the shadows. As soon as Lydia noticed what she was doing, the banshee immediately took a step forward and tried to grad her upper arm… but she couldn't. It was like a hologram, you can see it but you can't touch it, which made Lydia angrier, still trying to grab her furiously, to pull her from the shadows, to bring her back to life… _but it was useless_.

"Allison!" Lydia yelled desperately, finally giving up and taking a step back. Allison didn't look surprised, instead she was smiling sadly.

"I love you. You're my best friend, I love you, and I'm forever thankful I got to be part of your life." "No… no, no, no, no… don't say goodbye, don't you dare leaving me! Don't you dare!" The green eyes girl yelled in despair. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm sorry, but please… don't leave me Allison… just _don't_…"

"It's time, Lydia. I love you."

And then, Lydia screamed. She couldn't hold it anymore inside of her. She screamed at the top of her lungs her best friend's name.

_"__Allison!" _

When the banshee opened her eyes again, Allison was gone. Everything was silent. Her headache was gone.

"Allison?" She called out. No response. Nothing.

With her heart skipping a beat, with her whole body shaking, Lydia rushed to the Hospital and ran through the corridors as fast as she could until she saw Scott and Mr. Argent., both of them trying to contain their tears and both of them blocking her way.

Even though the banshee tried to release herself from the fours arms holding her, even though she kicked and screamed, she eventually let herself fall to the ground.

Allison was gone. Lydia was alone.

Maybe it was selfish of her to claim all that attention; she was aware she wasn't the only one suffering but it was her best friend, her anchor, her sister, _the other half of her heart._

How are you supposed to live with only half of your heart?

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**I miss Allison and it breaks my heart to imagine all the stuff you just read... Jeff Davis made a terrible mistake by killing her off. **

**Anyways, I hope you liked it. Review if you'd like. :)**

**Lots of love! x**


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